From the Ocean to the Prairie

Mom and Dad's Wedding picture 1952

  She sat staring out the window on that old train, listening to the rhythmic clicking on the wheels along the track.  Every turn of the wheels would bring her further and further from all that was familiar and known to her as home.  The prairie stretched before her, and it was a land totally unknown to her and her seaside upbringing.

   But the young man sitting next to her had stolen her heart, or caused what she called, ‘heart problems.’  She had just changed her last name to match his on that cool winter evening in the small church on the South Buxton/Scarboro line.  Rev. Lovejoy had pronounced them man and wife. They had hopes that their lives would match the ministers name, and life would prove it did.  This was a life time commitment, so now she traveled with him to his home on the Dakota prairies, leaving her family and life behind.

   Life on the prairie soon proved to be hard. Even in the early 1950’s it wasn’t easy.  When the old family farm was purchased from his family as their new place of residency, it lacked some comforts of life. Indoor plumbing and electricity were being installed, to help this young bride adjust to life on the prairie.  By now she had three little girls all still in diapers and oh how she longed for indoor plumbing to help easy the chore of washing diapers for her little flock.

    That young man had been hired on at the Oil Refinery in Mandan, and worked long hard shifts, then came home and farmed though his eyes and body longed for sleep before his next shift back at the refinery.  The equipment on the farm was old, and required constant repairs, but it sure beat that old stubborn horse he had grown up using to work the fields.  Work was constant, and hard, never ending as so many farmers know.

    The young bride battled what any young bride would battle far from home. Her longing for her family and all that was familiar.  She was so homesick, so everyday she wrote a penny postcard telling of life on the prairie to her Mom so far away, knowing that this was the only form of communication she could afford.  Her kind hearted new Mother-in-law, took her in and loved her as her own daughter, often comforting this young bride.  Life will get better, just keep holding on.

    Years past, and two more children were added, and they all did what children do, they grew up and moved on with their lives.   By now, life by the sea was almost forgotten, and life on this Dakota prairie was home.  Once asked what her secret of a long happy marriage was, she replied, “It was a long walk home.”  

     She’d came a long way for love and for that young man.  They had many adventures along the way.  

   Their hair began to turn gray, and his curls disappeared from his head to be replaced as his one small granddaughter called, ‘bald hair.  They’d had their scares of sickness, and heart attacks that threatened to end his life, but love fought on and won.  

    Then early one morning on the eve of Easter, he called out "Honey!" one more time, and she came to his side, and held him as he breathed his last breath.  She had always been his Honey, everyday of their 65 years together.  Now, the prairie rang out a loneliness she had never known before, not even as a young bride. Now she was left alone.  The children rallied to her side, to assist her in her grief, as they watched that strong man they had called Dad be laid to rest.  He had been their 'Quiet Giant’ their whole lives, now their anchor gone.

    The howling of the wind still whistles through the trees on the old farmstead, as the family gathers to say goodbye.  Goodbye to life they had lived there for so many years, life must take on more adjustments and change, but none felt it more that young bride from sea coast land of Maine.

Mom in the Black Hills. July 2018. Her first trip without Dad.

Mom and Dad sitting in front of the old farm house 2012.

      

Museum of Memories

Shaw farm in the early 1900's

Shaw farm house 2018

  

 I’ve spent some time in the last couple of weeks down in Mandan at my family’s farm. My Dad passed away at Easter, and my Mom has now moved into an apartment in town, as the farm is just too much work for her to take care of at 87 years old.

   My siblings had been working for days by the time I got there.  They had spent hours donned with dust masks emptying out the old rock basement of all it’s hidden treasures, some left by my grandparents, and a few by the homesteaders in the late 1880’s.  Years of setting things aside, for the next generation to find, and have to decide what has to be done with it. Sadly most of the treasures in the basement had to be tossed as moisture, and mold had taken hold and disintegration had begun.

   There were other closets that held treasures too many to tell of.  Things hidden for years, and not discovered until now.  We even found our great Grandfather’s law books in the attic from the late 1880’s.  He was one of the first lawyers and a judge  in the Dakota Territory, and was there helping North Dakota became a state.  

    My daughter showed up late on the 4th of July and spent a couple of days helping sort through things, having a few days off from her summer job in Medora.  That evening, I spent telling her stories of my childhood in this old farm house.  Showing her many treasures that triggered my memory of stories long forgotten even to me.  The treasures were wonderful to find, but sad at the same time, as it means there will be no more memories in the old house, or adventures out across the pastures and field.  Someone else will soon enjoy the beauty of this old farm, overlooking the Missouri River.  It saddens my heart that soon I won’t be heading up Highway 1806 to visit one of my favorite places on this earth.

    The last few weeks, truly have been a Museum of Memories.  That’s all we really have left of our past, memories.  I’m not dwelling there, but it was nice to visit to remember from whence I have come.  It’s wonderful to remember that I grew up in a house full of love and music, in a family that worked hard on the land as well knowing how to have times of fun.  I learned hard work will pay off if you don’t quit. I know what it’s like to get up at five a.m. and haul hay before the heat of the day makes it unbearable.  I know what a bale hook is, and how to use it in a little round bale.  My Dad being one of the last in North Dakota to use a small round baler. He finally was forced to quit when parts were no longer available.  

     I learned it’s always important to stop and enjoy life along the way.  I have memories of many Sunday afternoon times at the sandbar.  Running through hot sand and jumping into a pothole to cool off.  

    Memories become like a museum.  We see the past and what it held but we don’t live there anymore, we don’t do things the way we did as a child.  Life has changed and we grow up and move on.  There are things to remember, in our museum of memories and there are things to forget. But never forget the love, it’s the best item on display in our museum of memories, and that never gets old or out of style.

The Empty Cupboard

My Dad build these cupboards many years ago, just like all the other cupboards in this old farm house.

The Empty Cupboard

July 2018

As I closed the cupboard door, the emptiness of it echoed through the kitchen.

No more dishes, or can goods lined its shelves.

I remember the excitement as a child when my Dad built the cupboard.

First thinking how wonderfully talented my Dad was to be able to build something like this.

Next how cool it would be to have more cupboards in our old farmhouse kitchen.

As years went by, they become so common place, like they’d always been there.

When the kitchen got remodeled several years ago, these cupboards stood, while the rest were replaced.

I offered to repaint them for Mom and Dad, so they would match the new ‘purchased’ cupboards.

 

Now they stand empty, the house cleared out, the residents within have moved on.

Dad onto his eternal home, Mom into an apartment in town, where the work and upkeep won’t have to be her worry.

So empty cupboard attached to my childhood home, I just want to say.

Thanks for the memories and all the love you held.