“So how was your day?” Is a common question asked between spouses as they gather back home, after their day of work, and living. The real communicative types give you the complete run down, minute by minute of the day, well others reply with a ‘fine.’
But for the widow living alone, she no longer has anyone to ask, ‘so how was your day?’ She longs to connect with someone, some living breathing body, just so she can tell them about her day. Nothing earth shattering, she might only tell them about the routine things she did through out the day. But she still longs to tell. Why? Because she misses belonging, she misses being reassured that what she does is important to someone else.
She reaches for the phone and calls a friend, or maybe one of the kids, who just kind of like roll their eyes at her trivial chatter on the other end. Nothing earth moving, just, she went to the store, she did laundry, etc, but what she’s really saying is, “I’m still living. I’m still here, tell me I’m significant to you.” She’s lost the one that made her feel special, important, one of a kind. She’s wanting to still belong.
Is she wrong in these feelings? No. We’re all made to belong and be part of each other’s lives. She had that, and now it’s gone, and she struggles to know how to adjust.
So reach out to the widows around you, even if they’ve been a widow for a long time, as well as those who just became one. They need to know they’re still valuable, even though their spouse is gone. They search for significance , and are traveling down a road they’ve never been on before. It’s a really tough, lonely road too. So be kind. And if you’re married, and your spouse asks you how was your day, be grateful you have someone that’s asking. You’re both important.