Philip and I went up on Wednesday to see Todd and be part of the Tioga Nursing Home Christmas party. I asked Philip to share his view on the visit and here's what he wrote.
But here's a few pictures, and keep scrolling down for what Philip wrote.
Philip was doing a little physical therapy with Todd, some things he had learned when he use to work in a nursing home.
Holding his Dad's hand.
“Every moment is a
blessing”
Visit with Dad
(by Philip Reuer)
It has been a long time ago since I
had seen my dad last. Last time I saw my dad, we were laughing and joking (even
though it made no sense) and had a really good memory to end with before my
adventure to Colorado Springs. In fact, an answer to prayer when I asked God
for a miracle in church that morning, I believe he did answer that prayer with
a blessing to see him in a joyful state and feeling the warmth of his presence,
to hear that wonderful laugh. A laugh I had not heard in a long time. To gaze
into his eyes and see how much he appreciated me being there. But when I saw
him last Wednesday, I did not have that same feeling. It was a feeling of shock
and helplessness. My dad was no longer laughing or smiling. He was staring into
space like he was in a trance. At times he would have seconds of realization of
alertness and would communicate a non-verbal cue of a nod, smirk, and or a
faded smile. Sometimes he would release an “humph” or a “yea”.
The man I used
to dream of beating in a race now can’t walk straight without assistance. The
man who used to eat my left overs, now can’t feed himself. It breaks my heart
seeing him go through this. I understand that long-term nursing homes are not a
pretty place but are necessary. Having worked in one, I promised myself to
never go back. But now the man who shaped my roots of who I am, my dad, the man
I love and is proud of, is now in the very place I hate the most. It is hard,
but also a blessing. I cannot know what the next day may bring forth. I must
hold on to every opportunity to remember what the people I love the most are in
the moment I am with them, because that will not last forever. Although, it
saddens my heart that my dad is in his own cage of entrapment of his mind, I hold
onto those nods, smirks, faded smiles, “humph’s” and “yea’s”, because every
moment is a blessing and is an answer to prayer.
Philip showing Todd the helmet he got from all the player at the AFA with all the Varsity players signatures. Very cool.
Phil helping his Dad walk
Todd has become very unstable and weak. In the last few weeks he has repeatedly fallen while trying to walk or stand by himself. For his safety, the staff has him in a wheel chair, or walking with staff members assistance.
Santa showed up for the Christmas party, and posed for a moment with Todd for a picture.
Philip sitting with Todd during the gift opening. The shirt in Todd's lap was a gift from one of the CNA's. A couple of staff members gave him gifts along with the gift I had brought him.
On Thursday all of us (Tyson, Sarah, Kadence, Selah, Philip, Kristi and I) will go up to see Todd. God so wonderfully provided us a place to stay (a wonderful family in the Tioga Assembly of God said we could stay at their home) and another family from our Church here in Bismarck rented us a van so we could all drive up their together! I just cried at God's outpouring of love to us. We also received some unexpected money that will cover the gas to get there. All I can say is God is good!!
There has been times when I've wondered where in the world is God in all this, but there other times, I believe He's holding us all in the very palm of his hand in love and tender care.
Merry Christmas to you all!
(the 2013 Reuer Christmas Card)
