The Battered Penny by Kristi Reuer

The following is a little something that Kristi wrote. I thought it was so great, I asked her if I could share it on my blog. So… The Battered Penny

      

The Battered Penny

I was walking with heavy heart and lowered head when my down cast gaze met with a tiny ray of light.

‘Twas a small copper penny.

           It was battered and scarred, lost by one and trampled by many.

                           Considered worthless by most, but in it I found my worth.

For as I considered this tiny treasure the Spirit spoke to my spirit and said, “You are like this penny. You’ve been bruised and scarred but you have not lost your worth. Your Father in heaven knows your worth and it is far more than a penny. Indeed you are priceless for you were bought with a price beyond count. Your Father sees your struggles and hears your cries. He put this penny in your path to brighten your day and remind you of your worth. Know that He loves you and is always with you, no matter what. When you place your trust in Him he will provide for you. For He is your Father and He cares for your needs.”

            So with lightened heart and lifted eyes I continued on my path, the copper in my pocket reminding me that I’m worth more than gold.

What was it like...

I wrote the following a couple weeks ago, but thought in memory of Todd with Memorial Day coming up and also that today marks 5 months since he left earth and moved on to heaven, I thought I'd share it.  It's hard to believe he moved 5 months ago.  Kristi said tonight, in some ways it seems like a long time ago, and in other ways like it was just yesterday.  There's not a day goes by when I don't miss him.

What Was it Like Todd?

What was it like Todd when you passed from this life?

When left your body and the long fight?

Was your mind finally clear and your speaking alright?

Did an angel come and escort you home that night?

What was it like to meet Jesus face to face?

Did he say well done in your race?

Did you feel free and joyful from the earthly restraints?

Did you meet other rejoicing saints?

What was it like Todd to be finally free?

I wish you could tell me, I wish I could see.

What I take now in faith, You see face to face.

Some day I will join you when I finish my race.

But until that day comes, His promises are true

I hold to His truth and His love just like you.

Second Hand Loss

 
     Today I experienced another what I've learned to call, a second hand loss.  It's something you no longer have because your loved one is gone. Second hand loss is directly or indirectly a result of them being gone. Although this loss has been there for a while, it hit me today.  It seems silly, but sometimes you don't realize what you have till it's gone.  I found the loss while looking in the grocery store for hamburger.  Ok, now quit laughing and pick yourself up off the floor.  Yes, Hamburger.

   I remember when Tyson first moved out and was at college, and he called home to tell me, "Mom, I just wanted to tell you that hamburger from Walmart sucks."  Today, I realized I couldn't agree more. (Although I was at Dan's Super Value, cause I couldn't stomach the thought of Walmart hamburger.)

   Our whole married life, Todd was either working full time, or part time on ranches, and then we started having our own cattle.  Having beef on our table was just part of the job, weather it came in 'wages' or one of our own that we were grilling up.  And I have to say, we raised some of the best beef. I remember cutting a steak with a plastic fork, that's how tender it was.  

   But today, I was digging through a grocery store cooler, wondering how in the heck does one buy good beef.  I've never had to deal with % of lean before, or worry about price per pound.  We raised it, and paid the butcher to cut it up.  Now that's gone from my life too and has been for some time, but now the emptying freezer has caught up with me.  

   On a side note, since I was raised on a farm, we always had our own beef (or venison) as a kid growing up too. 

   Another change, another loss, another stark fact that my cowboy is not here with me.

   So to my wonderful rancher friends out there, if any of you have a quarter of beef to sell, let me know, cause I'm VERY interested, cause hamburger from Walmart sucks.  

Love in a Dixie Cup

Just the other day, I saw some beautiful pictures of some crocus's that one of my photographer friends had taken and posted on Facebook.  I so desired to see some, (but not enough to go drive out to where they might be), but even more than that, it brought back memories of Todd, for every spring, he'd always bring me the first crocus that came up.  I was really missing them and Todd.  Todd only bought store bought flowers a hand full of times in the almost 32 years we were married, but he often brought me the wild flowers of the prairie.  Those are even more beautiful, though sometimes still crawling with some little critters.   All summer my table would have a glass with flowers in it, some I'd picked, but often ones Todd had found.  

    But just when I was thinking I'll never have flowers brought to me again, Philip showed up at my door last night, with a Dixie cup full of crocuses.  I hugged him and cried.  He turned to his friend that was with him and said, "See, I told you she'd like them." 

     I loved them!  They are more beautiful to me than a dozen red roses, because I had a son that remembered that his Dad always brought me crocuses, and how much I loved them.  Thank you Philip for showing me love in action tonight!