32 years ago and today

 
 It was January 2, 1982, a cold wintery day, the tempertures finally got up to -20 F, the aftermath of the blizzard the day before.  But my heart was excited, for  I was to change my name to match yours.  The dress had been altered, for I'd lost so much weight since my sister had made it last summer, the veil finally finished last night.  I nervously took out my pink curlers out of my hair, hoping it wasn't going to be one of those 'bad hair' days.  I wanted to look perfect for you as your bride.  

    We made it to the church in time to get dressed, and all the makeup on perfect.  I remember my friend Sandy inisted we curl your hair so it wouldn't stick up straight, trying to tame the stubborn Reuer straight hair.  I still chuckle when I see that picture, it really didn't help.  The pictures were taken, and I came down the aisle singing my little heart out to you. Yes, I sang all the way down the aisle, you were suppose to be singing too, but I think you just stood there and watched.  You had just recovered from all the groomsmens teasing about there's a rodeo out in Billings you could make if you left right now.  So glad you didn't take their ad

vice, and stuck it out at the front of the church as I came down in my Daddy's arm to take yours forever.  At least we hoped it would be forever.

   But today I get ready on what should be our 32nd anniversary, and there's not any pink culers, and I've begun to dye my hair to hide all the gray.  My heart is not excited, but instead sad and lonely, for today I walk into the church alone.  The kids are all here, a product of our years of love together, a testimony of a life well lived for God.  We've cried and prayed and made the plans for today, all the time missing you so much. We want to honor you with all our hearts, for you loved us without limit, and taught us so very much.  You've left us way to soon, there's no doubt about that, but the struggle has been long and hard, and now you're free.  I look forward to that day when we meet again on the other side, and rejoice together before our Lord.

    So today, January 2, 2014, I say my last good byes, but won't be my last tears, for my heart will always remember you.   You are a man to be admired and remembered for a very long.  I love you Todd, my friend, my lover, my pard.  I know you're cheering us on from the other side of the veil now, telling us to finish our race and run it well.