Now I lay me down...

This morning, I awoke early and did some reading, and then for some reason, I laid my head down on Todd's pillow.  I've rarely touched it since he died, or even since he went into the hospital.  As I laid on his pillow missing him, my thoughts started rhyming.  So I sat up and wrote this down in my notebook.  

I've rarely pulled the covers back

Except to change the sheets

Your pillow I left untouched 

Beside me when I sleep

But this morning in the early light 

I gently laid my head

Upon your pillow empty still

Wishing to hear your heart beat.

I heard no sound, yes, I know

For that's impossible to hear

I only heard the rushing cars

And traffic way too near.

You're not here to warm my feet

When they are freezing in the night

Or scratch my forever itchy back

Or pray my nightmares take flight

My life is so utterly different now

WIthout you by my side

I'm having to live each new day

Trusting in His grace to abide

I've been finding out who I really am

The Kelley deep down inside

And all the things He put in me

Uncovering His plan for my life

Well, the alarm clock finally went off

Though I've been awake for hours

Reading through the piles of Bibles and books

Finding comfort in this early morning hour.