Sitting around for hours is a better discription of our weekend. Todd does sleep a lot, so we sit by his side while he sleeps. We read, pray, and sing to him, and sometimes we watch a movie. When he's awake he likes to be walking, more in the evening than during the day. Seems that morning and afternoon he's pretty unstable, but improves some towards evening. He's still wandering in and out of other residents rooms, which has caused several residents to not take a liking to him. One older resident is quite vocal in his dislike towards Todd and his wandering. There's also the gossip talk (always quite loudly) amongst the older women residents, trying to decide if I'm his wife or not. One said, "I've heard that's his wife." Another answered, "No, that's not, but I have no idea who that woman is." I said out loud, "Yes, I'm his wife," but I don't think any of them heard me. Frankly the inside dealings amoungst residents is a melodrama all of it's own. There are the sweet residents, and then there's those that are bitter, crabby and always complaining, and down right mean.
I had some nice conversations with Todd's new roommate, Ken. He's maybe in his late 60's (I'm guessing here) and lost his leg two years ago to diabites. He has incredible patience with Todd, as Todd is often getting into his things, but Ken just chuckles and said, it's ok. I'm so thankful for an understanding man to be sharing a room with Todd.
We were able to take Todd to church with us on Sunday, he said he liked it. It was difficult getting him in and out of the car and up and down the stairs, but it was well worth the effort.
Tyson had texted me right before we left for church that they were going to have Selah dedicated that morning at the 11:30 service. Although the nursing home has no Wi-Fi service, the AG church does, so I hooked up to Grace Church's (where Ty and Sarah attend in Tulsa) live stream, and muted my iPad, and looked down occasionally to see if that's when the dedication service was. Just as Pastor Jeremy (Pastor in Tioga) closed the service, I saw Tyson and Sarah coming up on stage with little Selah, so we slipped ear phones on and got to see her dedication service, it's not like being there, but it was the next best thing. I did feel grateful that we were with Todd and able to have him see it too. I'm not sure he was making the connection to what was happening, but none the less, he still got to see. That's been a really hard thing for me, in that Todd is missing out on things. Like Kristi's band concert, parades, etc. I have videoed all the events and played them for him, but it's still not the same.
Todd's neck is still not doing well, I did several neck rubs, and tried to work with him in moving those neck muscles up and down and sideways. I was under the impression that the PT had come in and was working with him, but according to several of the CNA's they said, they've never seen it, all they saw was he came in and gave him the soft neck brace. Some of the aides/CNA's have been trying to work with him, on those muscles though. I was able to speak with his doctor this morning (Monday) on the phone about decreasing some of his meds. Over the next two weeks he is going to decrease two of the meds. Dr VJ is very difficult to understand, having a very heavy India accent. I've been told he's an excellent doctor, but my ears have to go into overtime, trying to understand what he is saying.
Although Todd seems like he makes no acknowledgement that we're here sometimes, the CNA's say different. Several of them have made comment, how he brightens up and seems way more alert when we're here. Last night as I kissed Todd goodnight, the CNA that was assisting him, said, she could see the special love that we have, and she said she really admired that.
Kristi and I watched a short movie while Todd was sleeping on Sunday, called "Old Henry." It's about an older man who has a wife with alzheimers, (kind of a hard one to watch.) A comment that he said in the movie so hit home with me, He said even though this is a bad situation, he had learned something good, and that was how limitless love can be when expecting nothing in return. I too am learning, what love really means, when the other can't return it the way he use to. You really learn that love isn't about me, my wants and needs, it's giving to another, making them happy and loved. Real love is selfless, real love gives. I believe God was the greatest example of that one. He gave his only son for us. His love is in us, we just need to learn to let it out. Almost 32 years ago (will be 32 in January), our theme for our wedding was "The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost." (Romans 5:5) it rang true 32 years ago, and still does today. I love my man.
I will return to Tioga on Thursday to celebrate Todd's 53rd birthday with him. I'm sure he'd appreciate any cards of birthday greetings. Todd Reuer ℅ Tioga Medical Center Box 159, 810 N Welo, Tioga, ND 58852. If you live in the Tioga area, there will be birthday cake at 2:30. :-)
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